


A Crack in the Crown.

by Spannah339



Series: Deceit McJerkface [1]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Manipulation, Toxic Relationship, roman is Sad, self hate, stupid deceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spannah339/pseuds/Spannah339
Summary: Roman’s feeling down one day and escapes to the Mind palace theatre to calm down and cool his head. There he meets a friendly face who may not turn out to be as friendly as he originally thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was supposed to be a short story! But it is now at 5,000 words and I thought I should probably post it as a multi chapter fic! Enjoy!  
> You can read this on tumblr @sanders-sides-shambles. Just look under #my fanfics

 Roman paced the stage, trying to lose himself in the part.

“To be, or not to be – that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them.”

  He spread his arms wide, looking out over the empty theatre, trying to imagine it a full house, audience members hanging onto his every word.

 “To die – to sleep no more – and by a sleep to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.”

 He sighed, trailing off. His heart wasn’t in it and the empty theatre was just depressing. He dropped to the edge of the stage, staring out at the red seats.

 “To die, to sleep – to sleep – perchance to dream,” he muttered.

 Roman usually liked to be in an empty theatre All the laughter, the excitement, the tears were gone, and yet they still lingered. It was a bittersweet place to be – a place that held the memories of past performances while suggesting that maybe there would be more.

 But this time, this time he wanted to be acting in front of an audience. He wanted to hear the cheers of the audience, the laughter as he landed his lines perfectly. The murmurs of the audience as he waited in the wings.

Instead, he was greeted with silence.

 He had come here to feel better. It obviously wasn’t working. Why couldn’t the others see that he wasn’t doing well? He wasn’t sure what it was, he just hadn’t felt the thrill of creating for a long time. He hadn’t felt the excitement that came with creating something new for ages.

 “Don’t stop now, you were doing so well.”  
  
 A voice caused him to look up and Roman found himself locking eyes with Deceit. The Dark Side was sitting in the front row, a smile covering his face. Roman felt a rush of unease at the sight of Deceit – and yet…

“You really think so?” he asked, feeling a little better. Maybe his performance wasn’t horrible.

 “Oh yes. It was wonderful,” Deceit said. “I would be honoured to see more.”

 Roman felt a buzz of pride at the other Side’s words and stood. It was strange how having just one person watching him changed his performance. He was full of fire, wanting to impress his audience.

 When he was finished, he felt himself slipping out of character and returning to the world. Deceit was still sitting in the same spot, his hands folded together.

 “Wonderful,” he said with a smirk. “I really do enjoy watching you act, Roman.”

 None of the others had ever said that to him. The glow of pride grew as he looked down at the dark side.

 “Now, Roman, tell me why you’re really here,” Deceit said, raising an eyebrow. Roman looked down at him from the stage, hesitating. He didn’t really like Deceit, but the dark side was the first person who had actually shown him any kind of encouragement in a long while. 

 Logan would say Deceit lied and not to listen to him. But – he sounded so sincere. And it was nice to hear his production praised for once – instead of being picked to pieces in ‘constructive criticism.’

So he sat down on the edge of the stage, waving away his costume with the flick of his hand. He slumped, leaning back on his arms. Deceit seemed to be waiting.

 He hesitated a moment longer, wondering if one of the others would come looking for him. Patton had mentioned something about adventuring in one of Roman’s worlds at some point. But when no one appeared, he sighed, turning back to Deceit.

 “They don’t listen to me,” he said. “I try to tell them my ideas, but they just rip them to shreds and tell me everything that’s wrong with them.”

 “That’s terrible,” Deceit said, sounding shocked. “Your ideas are amazing – flawless.”

 “You really think so?”  
   
 “Of course, all of your ideas are brilliant. I think they’re just pointing out flaws – obviously flaws that aren’t there – to make you feel bad.”

 Roman frowned – would his friends really do that? He was hurt when they told him his ideas were bad, but would they really pick them to pieces because they wanted to make him feel bad? No – they were his friends – they wanted to help him. Make his ideas better.

 “You don’t believe me? Oh, Roman.” Deceit shook his head as if he knew something that Roman didn’t. “Tell you what – you come out here, same time tomorrow, and give me a show.”  
  
 “I – I don’t know -” Roman began, unsure if he should spend time with Deceit – unsure if he wanted to. But Deceit smiled, clasped his hands together and stood.

 “Well then. It’s a date. I’ll see you then, Princey.” And he vanished, leaving Roman alone in the empty theatre.

 

 

 Roman returned to a busy Patton, rushing about the kitchen, cooking – and nearly setting the kitchen on fire.

 “Oh, hey Kiddo!” Patton said as he continued shaking a pan, trying to keep the few, small, burnt crisps inside it from bursting into flames. He let out a yelp and dropped the pan as his efforts proved useless and flames burst into existence. Roman quickly summoned a bucket of water and threw it over the pan – and Patton.

 “Thanks,” Patton said, dripping slightly as he picked the pan up again. “I guess I just got a bit _fired up_ while cooking.”

 “You know you don’t have to cook,” Roman said, choosing to ignore the pun. Patton shrugged.

 “I like cooking though. How was your day?” He spoke as he continued cleaning, despite knowing he could wave his hand and everything be finished.

 Roman paused, wondering if he would remember about exploring together. He had hoped to take Patton to his kingdom and introduce him to his subjects. But Patton didn’t say anything.

 So Roman just smiled, remembering Deceit’s soft “oh Roman,” and wondered if there was something the dark side knew about his friends that he didn’t.

 “My day was fabulous!” he lied. “I fought many great beasts, saved many damsels and performed marvellous plays!”

 “That’s great!” Patton said. He was about to continue when someone clattered down the stairs. Roman turned to see Virgil, scowling.

 “Roman – there you are. We _need_ an idea for a video – now! We need to get a video out in two days and Thomas still has to find time to film it and edit – we don’t have any more time to wait for you to come up with an idea. If you don’t think of something soon we’re going to let all of Thomas’ fans down!”

 “I – I’m trying,” Roman said. He had been trying – he had gone to the theatre to clear his head and get out of the slump he had found himself in. “I just can’t think of anything good.”  
  
 “Well hurry up and think of something!” Virgil snapped. “We can’t let our fans down.”

 “Hey, Roman’s trying his best,” Patton said. “I’m sure any idea you come up with will be a good one, okay.”

 Roman nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. He had come up with an idea earlier that day, but Logan had shot him down, saying they didn’t have the time or funds to pull it off.

 He moved upstairs as he heard Patton trying to calm Virgil down, feeling strangely detached from his family – like they were just using him to get ideas.

Logan found him early the next morning, dozing at his desk, crumpled up papers and ideas surrounding him.

“Roman,” Logan said, jerking the creative side awake.

 “Huh?” Roman asked, looking around in confusion.

 “Did you sleep at all?”

 “I think so?” Roman rubbed his eyes, blinking as he woke up fully. He felt around on he desk, closing his hand over a piece of paper. “I came up with an idea.” He handed it to Logan yawning.

 Logan looked at it, frowning.

 “I can see where this would be a good idea, but don’t you think it is a little underwhelming? We’ve already reacted to old vines and it doesn’t seem –”

 “You told me, Lo,” Roman said. “We don’t really have time for a bigger project, so that’ll have to do.” He slumped back over the desk, hoping Logan would leave him alone. He did, after a moment, closing the door behind him.

 Roman sighed, closing his eyes. He just couldn’t seem to do anything right.


	2. Chapter 2

 He wasn’t really needed for the reaction video – that was mostly Patton and Virgil’s area (Patton gushing over all Thomas’ friends who had helped made the vines, Virgil cringing over the stupid things Thomas had done to make the vines.) So, mid-way through the day, he slipped out to the theatre.

It was empty when he arrived, and he thought for a moment that Deceit hadn’t come. It would make sense really – Deceit letting him down like all the rest of his family had.

 He didn’t let himself get discouraged though, and paced the stage, humming softly to himself. Then he found himself softly singing.

 _“I’ve learned to slam on the breaks_  
before I even turn the key   
Before I make the mistake   
Before I lead with the worst of me.”

He began to pace more, angrier, his voice growing as he sang louder.

 _“Give them no reason to stare_  
No slipping up if you slip away   
So I got nothing to share   
No, I got nothing to say   
Step out, step out of the sun if you keep getting burned  
Step out, step out of the sun because you’ve learned   
 Because you’ve learned.”

 He moved faster, gesturing with his arms as he felt tears pick his eyes.

 _“On the outside always looking in_  
Will I ever be more than I've always been  
'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass  
I'm waving through a window  
I tried to speak but nobody can hear  
So I wait around for an answer to appear  
While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass  
I'm waving through a window  
Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?”

He stopped, suddenly aware he wasn’t alone anymore. Deceit was sitting in the same seat as he was before, applauding slightly.

 Roman blinked a tear out of his eyes and turned to his audience of one, giving a huge bow and forcing a grin on his face.

  “What a wonderful performance, Roman, simply stunning!” Deceit said. “But, is something bothering you?”

 Roman stopped, straitening from his bow.

“No,” he said quickly. “I just came here to…” he trailed off, unsure how to finish his sentence.

 “Don’t lie to me, Roman. It doesn’t work,” Deceit’s voice was low, and Roman felt nervous, again the sinking feeling that he shouldn’t be there filling him. He swallowed.

 “It’s the others,” he admitted, pacing the stage like a restless animal. “They don’t seem to care about me. It’s like they’re just using me for my ideas, and don’t actually care about what _I_ want. I know they’re not, that they really do care. But sometimes… It doesn’t feel like that..”

 “Has it ever occurred to you that you might be right?” Deceit asked. Roman stopped, staring into the wings as Deceit kept talking. “I mean – when was the last time they did something with you just because? When was the last time they didn’t pull your ideas to pieces? Maybe they don’t actually like you.”

 Roman bit his lip, trying not to think about what Deceit said. But he couldn’t help but think that maybe he was right. Virgil always snapped at him. Logan always pointed out the flaws in all his ideas.

 “Don’t be sad Roman. I’m sure they do care about you really. Come on, give me a play – I’d love to see you act.”

 Roman nodded, suddenly eager to lose himself in a different person’s life and events.

 When he had finished, Deceit congratulated him on a good performance and stood.

 “Same time tomorrow, see you then,” he said, before vanishing again. Roman was left, staring after him, not really feeling any better.

  The next day, while Logan was in charge of working through the editing of the video, Roman returned to the theatre. The uneasy feeling grew as he stepped onto the stage and saw Deceit, sitting in his usual spot.

  But, he allowed himself to get lost in the part he was playing, acting off wraths of his own creation (never as good as actually acting against someone real, but he didn’t really have an option.)

 This time, when he was finished and sat on the edge of the stage, waiting for Deceit’s response, the other side frowned. A sinking feeling filled Roman – had he done something wrong?   
   
 “It was marvellous, really, it was,” Deceit said, leaning forward. “But I’m sure you could do better. Just a little, you can’t really improve on that performance. Give it more passion, more anger. Sell the part to me.”

 “Now?” Roman asked, slightly hesitant. He had been gone for a while, and the others might need him.

 “Why not? Go ahead, it shouldn’t take long.”

 Roman opened his mouth to protest, he was tired of acting, he wanted to help his friends. But he caught the glint in Deceit’s eyes and closed his mouth again.

 “Very well,” he said, standing. “I shall give you the greatest performance you have ever seen!”

 He did his best, putting his all into the performance. Once he was finished, he felt a satisfied glow as he looked down at Deceit, who clapped softly.

 “Much better!” he said. “And tomorrow you’ll do even better!”

 “I – of course!” he said, wondering if he had done something wrong. Deceit seemed less excited about his acting than usual. “I’ll see you then.” He realised now that Deceit wanted to do this every day. He didn’t really mind, he enjoyed acting to a reactive audience, he enjoyed hearing feedback that wasn’t ripping his acting to pieces.

 “Of course.” Deceit stood, then paused and faced Roman again. “Oh, and don’t tell the others where you are – okay? They might hate you more than they already do.” He smiled, then was gone.

 Roman stared at the spot he had vanished, feeling a strange twisting in his stomach. Did the others hate him? He knew they hated Deceit, but did they hate him? If they didn’t before, they would now he was spending time with the dark side. Maybe he should stop visiting Deceit.

 But the thrill of acting in front of an audience, of hearing clapping when he had finished, of hearing his work praised instead of criticised – he didn’t want to give that up.

 His decision was finalised when he returned home to find Logan and Virgil shouting at each other while Patton looked on worriedly.

 “There you are!” Logan snapped, turning away from Virgil to glare at Roman. The creative side took an unintentional step back, somewhat intimidated by Logan. “We’ve been looking for you! Thomas can’t fix this part of the video and we need you to figure it out. Where were you?”

 Roman opened his mouth and glanced towards Patton for support. But Patton was standing beside Virgil, walking him through breathing exercises. It appeared Anxiety had gotten rather worked up.

 “Well?” Logan asked. Roman turned back to him, remembering Deceit’s parting warning.

 “I was busy, Specs,” he said shortly. “What’s the problem?”

 He helped the others fix the video, and they worked long into the night editing.

Usually editing videos was enjoyable but this time Roman could tell everyone was upset with him – event Patton. And Virgil kept stressing about getting the video out, despite Patton assuring him the fans wouldn’t mind if it was a little late.

 They didn’t manage to get it finished before retiring. Roman made his way up to his room and collapsed into his bed, pulling his covered over his head and fighting back tears. At least he had one friend; even if the other sides didn’t care about him Deceit did.

 They finished the video the next day, uploading it in time. The week fell into a routine. Roman would come up with ideas for future videos in the morning, then spend the rest of the day at the theatre. He found himself becoming distant from his friends, found himself avoiding them. Every look they sent his way, every comment they said to him had him doubting. What if Deceit was right? What if they did hate him? What if he was worthless? What if?

One morning, about two weeks after he had started seeing Deceit, Roman was about to go to the theatre when Patton appeared around his door.

 “Are you doing okay?” he asked. Roman nodded, facing the other side.

 “I’m doing wonderfully,” he said, smiling as wide as he could. He wasn’t. He wanted to know his friends loved him – that they enjoyed being around him – but he was beginning to doubt it.

 “Are you sure?” Patton hesitated, letting out a sigh. “You’ve been distant lately – is something bothering you?”

 “No, I’m fine,” he insisted. Patton didn’t seem to believe him – he could tell – but nodded.

 “How about we have a Disney marathon tomorrow?” he suggested – just to cheer Roman up of course - but it worked. The idea of a Disney marathon was one he fully approved of.

 “That sounds brilliant,” he said, already feeling better. The idea of watched his favourite movies with his friends cheered him up no end. But he had to go to the theatre now – he didn’t want to keep Deceit waiting.

 “Take care, Kiddo,” Patton said, waving as he left Roman’s room. Roman watched him go, sure Deceit was wrong. Of course Patton was his friend – of course Patton loved him.

 Deceit was already at the theatre when he appeared on stage.

 “You’re late,” the dark side said.

 “Sorry, I got caught up,” Roman said. “What shall I perform today?” He felt excited, ready to do anything. But Deceit didn’t let his tardiness go.

 “Don’t be late again, alright? I am taking time out of my day to help you improve your acting.”

 “I – of course. I won’t,” he said, seeing it would be useless to offer excuses.

 Today’s performance was rather exhausting. Deceit kept stopping him to change lines, or reblock the scene. Roman wasn’t sure what the dark side was doing, but he followed the instructions, despite being a little uncomfortable with the new lines Deceit was giving him.

 Finally, he stopped midline, holding his script out in front of him as he squinted at the lines. Yes, it did say what he thought it did. He lowered the script and turned to Deceit.

 “A hero should face all his challenges with honesty and bravery. This script has him lying and running, a brave knight would never run from a problem by lying about it!”

 Deceit narrowed his eyes, his hat tipping forward slightly.

 “Roman, who’s the actor here?” He paused, waiting for Roman’s, “well… me.” “Yes. You are. And I’m the director and writer – and sometimes the actor is given the role of a character they’re not like. It’s a challenge to play that part – and to play it well. I trusted you could do it, but now I’m afraid I might be mistaken. You aren’t a good enough actor to pull this part off.”

 “No – I…” Roman trailed off, turning his attention back to the script. He sighed, reading through the line, and nodded. “Very well. I can play this part, if you insist.”

 Deceit smiled, but it wasn’t a full smile. Roman didn’t care – Deceit knew he was a good actor. Deceit knew he had good ideas. Deceit was his friend.

 When he had finished, he felt drained. But Deceit’s nod, smile and words of encouragement made him feel a buzz of happiness. He _was_ a good actor. He could play any part.

 “I will see you tomorrow then,” Deceit said as they finished. Roman nodded, before remembering the Disney marathon he had planned. But it was too late to tell Deceit – the other side had vanished.

 He paused a moment, wondering if he should try to find Deceit in the mind palace somewhere. But he had no idea where to start looking, and he didn’t really want to go digging into the dark places of Thomas’ mind. Deceit would understand – right?

 He enjoyed the day, watching Disney movies non-stop. For a moment, he forgot Deceit’s words, he forgot that maybe the others didn’t like him. He sang loudly to the songs, he quoted his favourite lines – he enjoyed himself.

 As he heading towards his bed after a day full of movies, Patton called after him.

 “Feeling better, Kiddo?”

  “Feel wonderful, padre,” Roman responded. And he was, he was feeling better than he had in a while. Maybe that was what he needed, a trip down memory lane and to sing as loud as he wanted.

 But, as he lay in bed, Deceit’s words came back to him and he remembered every annoyed glance Logan had given him when he sang. Every soft, “calm down. Princey,” Virgil had muttered at him.

 And he fell into an uneasy sleep.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle in, Kiddo. This one's gonna be a ride.

Deceit was waiting for him when he appeared on stage the next day. Roman faced the other side with a bow, flourishing as he did, a grin on his face. But the grin faded when he saw Deceit’s face. It deadly calm, the face one wears when one is full of barely hidden anger.

 Deceit stepped onto the stage, advancing on Roman. The creative side took a step back, unnerved and intimidated by the side towering over him.

 “I told you, Princey,” Deceit said, his voice low. “I don’t want you to be late again.”   
  
 Roman swallowed, stood up straight and faced down Deceit.

 “I had other things to do,” he said. He hadn’t done anything wrong, watching a few movies. Right?

 “You had other things.” Deceit turned, facing away from Roman. He was silent for a long time, making Roman more nervous. Suddenly he turned again, causing Roman to jump.

 He stepped forward, shoving Roman squarely in his chest. Roman stumbled back.

 “I take precious time out of my day to help you improve your acting.” He stepped forward again, giving Roman another shove. “I spend my time helping you.” Another shove. This time Roman lost his balance and fell, tangling himself in the blacks as he did. Deceit loomed over him, and Roman felt a snake of fear climb up his throat.

 “You spit in my face by deciding your time is more important than mine. I never want to see you late again – do you hear me?”   
  
 Roman nodded, not daring to say anything. Deceit crouched, half covered by the curtains, and grabbed him by his collar. “Do you understand?”   
  
 Roman’s throat was dry, and his voice came out croaky and harsh.

 “Y-yes,” he whispered. Deceit stared at him for a long moment, before standing. Offering a hand to Roman, he seemed to shrink back to his normal size.

 “I’m sorry Roman,” he said as Roman took his hand and he pulled the prince to his feet. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t show up on time. Please do better in the future.” He turned once Roman has stood, and softly, under his breath, Roman heard him mutter “I can see why the others hate you.”

 Roman froze, staring at the stage floor. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked angrily. The other didn’t hate him – right? They were his friends. They loved him just like he loved them. They just had different ways of showing it.

 Right?

 “They don’t hate me,” he said, blinking rapidly. Deceit turned and he felt his heart sink. If the others did hate him, he couldn’t afford to anger Deceit – the dark side was his only friend.

“Oh, grow up Roman. Of course, they hate you. You’re whiny, loud and frankly annoying. Why would anyone not hate you – except me, of course.”   
  
 “No. No, you’re lying. That’s not right. That’s not true.” The tears wouldn’t stop and he angrily wiped his eyes. “We – we had a Disney marathon yesterday. We watched movies. They’re my friends. They…” he trailed off, unsure of what to say next. The small looks and comments over the past few weeks came back to him. The criticism of his work. Virgil calling his Christmas song “not good.”

 And the tears came faster.

 “I’m sorry Roman,” Deceit’s voice was soft, and Roman felt hands on his shoulder. He looked up at the other sides dark eyes. “Sometimes people let you down. But I never will. I’m your friend Roman.”

 Roman nodded, dropping his eyes again. A tear dripped to the ground and he blinked again.

 “Now, I know you’re upset – but I need an idea. Can you help me with that?” Deceit asked.

 Roman nodded again – he didn’t want to let Deceit down the way he had let his friends down.

 “That party we agreed to go to, can you think of a way to get out of it? I really don’t think it’s a good idea to go. Come up with an excuse not to, will you?”

 “But Thomas promised we would go,” Roman said, looking up and wiping the last of his tears out of his eyes. “We can’t not go – we’ll be breaking a promise.”   
  
 Deceit sighed, moving away from Roman.

 “The others taught you that, didn’t they?” he asked, turning back to Roman. He nodded slowly. “They just want to control you, Roman. It’s a way of doing that. In my experience, lying works wonderfully. You’ve just been taught that it’s wrong – it really isn’t.”

 Roman nodded, looking down. He still felt wrong, creating a lie.

 “It’ll never get passed Patton, he won’t let Thomas cancel,” he said at last. Deceit shrugged.

 “Put the idea that he doesn’t want to go into Thomas’ head and soon Patton will be glad for an excuse. Now, think of an idea – I have something to do. Good luck.”   
   
 And he was gone.

 Roman sighed, processing and gathering his thoughts. Then, he summoned a pad of paper and a pen and set to work.

 Deceit returned about an hour later to find Roman, sitting cross-legged in the centre of the stage, papers surrounding him.

He was scribbling furiously, letting his anger and frustration out on the paper in front of him. Deceit stood above him, looking down at the prince and his work.

 Roman looked up, his pen suddenly frozen.

 “Well?” Deceit asked.

 “Take your pick,” Roman muttered. “But I think –” he leaned back, grabbing a sheet of paper from behind him and handing it to Deceit. “This one’s the best idea.”   
  
 Deceit took it from him and was silent for a long moment, reading. Roman watched, biting the end of his pen.

 When he had finished, Deceit lowered the paper and shook his head. Roman felt his heart sink.

 “You obviously don’t know how to lie, do you?” Deceit asked. Roman shook his head, staring around at the pages surrounding them. Even so, he had been rather proud of what he had come up with. “I knew that, but I would have thought you would have had a little more common sense,” Deceit muttered. He slapped the paper with the back of his hand. “Thomas doesn’t have a dog. Why would his dog be sick?”

 Roman opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again. He had been treating the exercise like a script, something that would never happen. But Deceit was right – it was a stupid idea. Of course it wouldn’t work. Why had he even thought that?

 “Now, you can do better than that.” 

 “What if Thomas is sick then?” he suggested, still not looking up.

 “No, again, too easy to see through. We need something that will withstand questioning.”  
  
 “Why don’t we just say we don’t want to come?” Roman looked up to see Deceit’s frowning face.

 “We can’t do that. We promised we would go – if we say we don’t want to go that would be breaking our promise. No – we need an excuse.”

Roman sighed, gathering his papers up and flipping through them. He finally found a good idea and read it out, hesitantly.

 “We could say… there was an unexpected car problem?”

 Deceit was quiet, then finally nodded.

 “That works. The car has been playing up lately so it’ll be believable. Well done.”

Roman felt relief rush through him – he had figured it out. And, close behind that, came pride. He had figured it out. He could come up with any idea.

 “Well then,” Deceit clapped his hands and the papers vanished. “Shall we begin the performance?”   
  
 Roman nodded, feeling better now that he had come up with a successful idea. He stood, ready to follow Deceit’s directions.

It was a short lesson today, only about twenty minutes. Roman didn’t mind, he was glad to finish early. He bade Deceit farewell and returned home, feeling like maybe he could belong somewhere.

  Maybe he should talk to the others, sit them down and confirm if they liked him or not. But what if they hated him? What if his deep suspicions were right? Would it be better to know, or to live in uncertainty?

 He had almost convinced himself that it was better to know for sure when he returned. He moved upstairs, past Patton’s room, and as he did, the sound of laughter drifted out.

 He paused beside the door, listening. It sounded like all three of the other sides were in there – having a great time. Carefully, Roman pushed the door open and peeked around it.

 Patton and Virgil were a tangle of limbs and laughter as they tried to stay upright on a twister board. Logan, his back to the door, called out “Right-hand blue. No, I’ve _told_ you Patton – that’s your left hand.”   
  
 “I can’t do that!” Patton said, laughter in his voice as he dropped his left hand and reached across Virgil with his right. Virgil shifted, causing Patton to lose his balance and tumble to the ground, bringing Virgil with him.

  Patton burst into laughter, curling into a ball and hugging his chest as he did. Virgil sat up, flicking hair out of his eyes, and grinned.

 Roman stepped out of the door, his heart sinking. He suddenly didn’t feel like talking to any of the others. They seemed to be having enough fun without him – he didn’t want to stop them.

 He closed the door to his room and sank to the ground, tucking his knees under his chin. They hadn’t even thought to invite him. It was probably his own fault, for being away so much. It was no wonder really, he would probably bring the mood of the whole evening down and make every miserable. He’d start fighting with Virgil, and Logan would get snappy, and Patton would be hurt.

 No, it was better he stayed away. Even if they didn’t hate him they probably didn’t like him around. He would leave them to it – leave them to be happy.

 His eyes blurred, and he shook his head, trying to clear the tears. Why was he crying? It wasn’t surprising, really. Deceit had warned him so many times.

 But it still hurt to see his friends having fun without him.

 

He stayed like that for a long time, the laughter of his friends echoing in his ears. Finally, it died away, but Roman still sat, leaning against the door, staring at the wall opposite him.

 The door behind him shifted. There was a moment’s silence, then Patton’s voice came from behind.

 “Hey, can I come in?”

 Roman didn’t answer, just moving to the other wall so Patton could push the door open. Morality took stock of the room, then sank down the wall to sit beside Roman.

 Just the presence of Patton was comforting. Roman longed to move closer, to lean his head on Patton’s shoulder, to be pulled into a hug. But he didn’t move – he didn’t want to annoy Patton.

 After a long moment of silence, Patton spoke.

 “You doing okay, buddy?”

“Fine,” Roman said. He was pretty sure Patton would see right through his lie.

 “Because I saw you watching us playing twister before. Why didn’t you join in?”   
  
 “I –” Roman stopped, unsure how to answer. Had Patton wanted him to join in or was he just being nice? “I wasn’t invited,” he finally finished.

 Patton frowned.

 “We invited you this morning – remember. But you said you had something to do and left.”   
  
 It was Roman’s turn to frown. He didn’t remember Patton inviting him to join a game. But then, Patton wouldn’t lie to him. Maybe he had just forgotten. He had been in a bit of a hurry to get to the theatre.

 “I must have forgotten,” he said, staring at the ground. He didn’t usually have a bad memory – maybe he needed more sleep.

 “Hey, that’s fine! It’s not your fault if you forget things,” Patton assured him. Roman nodded, taking a deep breath. Patton was right. There was another long silence, then Patton spoke.

  “I-if I’m being honest,” he began slowly, as if he didn’t want to say what he was thinking. “Well… they – that is to say, we… I mean…” He took a deep breath, and let it out again. “It’s kinda mean, leaving you wondering, isn’t it? Well… we - we were kinda relieved when you said you didn’t want to join in.”

 Roman felt like the air had been shoved out of his stomach. He had had his suspicions, but for Patton to come out and say it – no, that couldn’t be right.

 “Y – you were?” he managed to say. Patton nodded, staring at the floor.

 “It’s just… sometimes you’re – well, you’re difficult to be around,” he said slowly. “And you fight with Virge and your ideas and often over the top and…” he trailed off.

 Hot tears filled Roman’s eyes and he hurriedly blinked them back. This couldn’t be happening. Not Patton.

 But it made sense. He was annoying. He was difficult to be around. He did fight with Virgil. His ideas were over the top. Deceit had been warning him for the past few weeks and he had refused to believe the signs. He should have expected this.

 “So maybe,” Patton was still talking. “Maybe it’d be best if you left for a bit…” he hesitated, then added “Not forever, of course. Just until you’re more ready to be part of the team.”

 Roman nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He bit his lip as his vision blurred and a tear trickled down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. Stop being so weak Roman!

 Patton stood, laying a hand on Roman’s shoulder.

 “I’ll tell you when we want you back, okay?” he said, and left the room.

 Roman pulled his knees up to his chest and let out a sob, then slammed his lips together as the nose vibrated around the room. Why couldn’t he be nicer? Why couldn’t he be more enjoyable to be around? He was so annoying even Patton hated him.

 He closed his eyes, silent tears rolling down his cheeks and he clutched his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooops I think I broke Roman. Sorry 'bout that!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a quieter chapter, but I'm still quite happy with it.

Deceit found him in the theatre. Roman hadn’t stayed in his room long after Patton had told him to leave – the others didn’t want him around so he wouldn’t burden them with his presence for any longer.

 So, he had packed his things (not that he needed anything, he could summon what he wanted) and left the house, finding refuge in the one place he could think of – the theatre he had been spending so much time in lately.

 He had collapsed in one of the dressing rooms, not wanting to be in the open space of the theatre, curling in a ball in the corner as what had happened properly sunk in.

 He had lived with the others, helped make decisions with them, been in their presence for all his life. Now, he had been thrown out, now he had nowhere to go. How long would he be out here, drifting? Probably forever, it wasn’t likely the others would want him back.

 So, he curled in the corner, his last conversation with Patton circling through his mind. Maybe he could do better next time. But no, why would they give him a second chance? He didn’t deserve one. He deserved everything he got. Franky, he was surprised it hadn’t come sooner.

 But he still felt like his world was collapsing around him. Thrown out of his home. His friends turning against him. Was his fate to drift forever, with no place to call home?

“Roman. What are you doing here?”

 The voice pulled him out of his self-pity and he looked up, his face streaked with tears, to see Deceit standing over him. He blinked a few times, scrambling to a sitting position and wiping his eyes. He didn’t want Deceit to see him cry – he would be seen as weak and foolish. More so than he already was.

 “Get up, come on,” Deceit said sharply, stepping back. Roman pushed himself up and wiped his eyes again, still unable to stop his tears. “Stop crying, you’re not a child, you’re a prince. What happened?”

 Roman took a deep breath, forcing the tears down. Deceit was right, it was childish to cry.

 “P – Patton.” He hesitated, not wanting to repeat that horrible conversation. But Deceit was quiet, watching him, waiting. So he continued. “Patton… kicked me out,” he said, dropping his eyes as his vision blurred again. He might have expected that from one of the others, but from Patton – never.

“Well,” Deceit said softly. “It was bound to happen at some point.”   
  
 Roman looked up, a tear rolling down his cheek.

 “E-even Patton?” he asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Deceit was silent for a long moment, then nodded again.

 “Everyone has a limit, obviously Patton reached his.” He turned, lacing his hands together. “What are you going to do now?”

 Roman shrugged, scrubbing his face with his sleeve. Why couldn’t he stop crying! It was pointless and weak – just like him.

 “I don’t know,” he muttered. And he didn’t, he had no idea where to go. Maybe he could just live here, become a wraith of the theatre, aimless, pointless, lost.

 “Well,” Deceit said, after a long pause. “Maybe… maybe you could stay with me.”

 Roman looked up slowly, staring at Deceit’s back. Had he just said that?

 Hope filled him, maybe, just maybe, he could have a home. A purpose. Maybe if he stayed with Deceit he could still see the others, sometimes. If anything, he wouldn’t be completely alone.

 “You’d take me in?” he asked, hesitantly, suddenly scared Deceit hadn’t actually suggested what he had.

 The dark side turned slowly, nodding.

 “On a few conditions, of course,” he said. “You listen to me, naturally, I am the host.” Roman nodded, he expected nothing less. He would do what Deceit said – anything as long as he wasn’t thrown into the depths Thomas’ mind, with nowhere to call home. As long as he wasn’t alone. “And you’ll come up with ideas for me.”

 Again, Roman nodded. He could do ideas, he was Thomas’ creative side after all. Maybe – just maybe – this would work.

 Deceit nodded back and seemed to be considering.

 “Alright,” he said at last. “I’ll have to find room somewhere,” he muttered to himself, “But this could work.”

 Roman felt hope leaping in his chest – maybe it would work. But at the same time, he felt a small twinge of dread – he was inconveniencing Deceit, maybe the other side wouldn’t want him around anymore.

 “A-are you sure?” he asked. He didn’t want to bother Deceit anymore than he had. But he also didn’t want to drift without a home. Deceit nodded slowly.

 “I’m your friend, Roman,” he said. “I’ll help you as long as you listen to me – that’s what friends do.”

 Roman blinked back the last of his tears. He could have a home, a friend, a family of sorts. Deceit was his friend. Deceit would look after him. And if all he wanted was a few of his stupid ideas – well, he could do that.

 “Let’s go,” Deceit said. He clicked his fingers and suddenly they were in a small house. Roman shook his head, orientating himself after the sudden change.

  The room was much like the room he was used to, at home, but darker. The lights cast the room in a dim, greenish light, the wallpaper peeling off the walls. Everything seemed to be shimmering, as if it wasn’t real, as if it would vanish when he touched it.

 Roman stood in the centre of the room, unsure what to do now. He wanted to explore, to see what Deceit’s home held, to draw his sword and rush bravely into the unknown. But that would annoy Deceit, and he was already intruding enough.

 “Welcome home, Roman,” Deceit said. “Your room is upstairs and to the left – don’t go into any other rooms – ever.

“I have things to do, settle in and when I come back I’ll give you some jobs,” Deceit said. Then he left, vanishing before Roman even had a chance to thank him.

 The creative side looked around the room, trying to focus on the shimmering, blurred room. Hesitantly, unsure if he should, he touched the couch against the wall, almost expecting his hand to pass right through it. He felt the soft fabric under his hand, but it felt fake – as if it wasn’t really there.

 Somewhat unnerved by the piece of furniture, he pulled his hand away. Nothing here felt real he realised. He felt as though he couldn’t trust his senses, couldn’t believe what he was seeing or feeling.

 He moved slowly towards the stairs and carefully placed his foot on the lower step. It flickered under his boot but held his weight. He moved up slowly, one hand on the bannister as he tested his weight. He knew it should hold – Deceit had told him his room was upstairs and there was no other way up – but all his senses were telling him that the stairs wouldn’t hold his weight. That he would fall, that it would collapse under him.

 He made it to the top of the stairs with no trouble and glanced down the hall that greeted him. There was one door directly to his left – his room, Deceit had said. To his right, the hall ran to the end of the house, and two doors led off that hall. Roman pushed open the door to the left, to his room.

 It was much like the rest of the house, run down and old, a green light washing over it. Like the rest of the house, it too had an unreal feel to it. There was sparse furniture, only a small bed and a desk opposite it.

  Roman felt a sudden pang of want for his Disney posters and bright coloured room. But no – he had a room of his own, that was more than he deserved. Disney posters and bright colours were a thing of the past – this was his room now. This was his life now. And it was so much more than he deserved.

 He felt drained, like he did after a particularly emotional play. Usually, when he felt like this, he and Patton would curl up with mugs of green tea and watch cartoons. But that wasn’t really an option anymore – or ever would be.

 He sighed, settling carefully onto the bed. Again, he knew it would hold him, but his eyes told him it wasn’t actually there. When it didn’t vanish beneath him, Roman stretched out on the bed, folding his hands on his chest and staring up at the plain wooden roof.

 The roof in his room was covered with pictures. Paintings he had drawn, pictures he had summoned. Pictures of his quests, of his achievements – of his friends. He wondered if it was still there, or if they had already painted over it.

  He closed his eyes, not wanting to be awake anymore. Why was he being so selfish – the home Deceit had offered him was a home. Sure, it may not be as nice as his old home, but that home wasn’t an option anymore. This was all he had, and it was far better than no home.

 He stayed on the bed, drifting in and out of sleep until Deceit returned home. He pushed the door open, jerking Roman fully awake.

 The prince sat up, rubbing his eyes and reorientation himself.

 “Wake up, Princey,” Deceit said scornfully. “I know I said to make yourself comfortable, but I didn’t mean sleep. We have far too much to do today, come on.”

 “Sorry,” Roman muttered. Deceit was right – he shouldn’t have been so assuming – this wasn’t his house, he was only a guest here. He needed to pay his way before he could fully relax here.

 The ideas Deceit had him come up with were much along the lines of what he had asked the day before – getting out of unwanted events, making excuses for not being somewhere. Roman felt a little uncertain as he brainstormed, but he didn’t say anything. Deceit just sat across the room, watching him, reading every page when Roman had finished writing until he excused himself and left Roman alone.

 But as the days wore on, Roman felt even more uncomfortable about the scenarios Deceit put to him. He did them anyway because he didn’t want Deceit to be angry if he returned and found Roman hadn’t completed the task.

 Until finally, about three days after he had arrived, he stopped and waited for his host to come home from where ever he was spending all his time.

 Deceit pushed the door open as he always did, stepping into Roman’s room.

 “Let’s see your ideas then,” he said, holding his hand out. Roman hesitated – this was the first time he hadn’t finished Deceit’s request.

 “I didn’t do it,” he muttered, glancing down at the floor beneath his feet.

 “You didn’t do it. Roman – I am taking you in. Giving you a home. And you don’t do this simple task for me? How selfish of you.”   

 Roman bit his lip – Deceit was right. It was selfish of him, not to repay his host in such a small way. But he didn’t feel right.

 “I can’t do it,” he said. “I just – using Thomas’ fans? We can’t do that.” He turned back to the desk and grabbed the piece of paper Deceit had written his task for the day on before he had left. “’ _Figure out a way to get more money from Thomas’ fans without them noticing anything._ ’ We don’t need any more money.”

 “So?” Deceit asked, spreading his hands out. “More is always good – we could do with a nicer apartment, really.”

 “But –” Roman started. It didn’t feel right – Thomas’ fans weren’t there to get money from. They were real people, not a way of making money. This wasn’t right.

 “That’s the other’s teachings again. What’s a little more money – it’s not like we’ll be stealing it, Thomas’ fans will be giving it up willingly. The other’s have brainwashed you into thinking that’s bad – it’s really not. Just clever. Now, if you want to listen to what the others have taught you, go ahead. But you can go back and live with them.”   
  
 “They won’t take me,” Roman muttered, dropping his gaze. Why was he protesting? Deceit was right, it was a good way of getting money. The fans would never know, so it would never hurt them. And he didn’t want to be thrown out of this home as well. He would do what Deceit had asked.

 “So then listen, and do what I say,” Deceit said. “Tell you what, finish that and then I’ll give you the rest of the day off.”

 Roman brightened at that – he had barely a chance to rest, what with all the tasks Deceit had been giving him.

 “And –” he hesitated, wanting to ask but not wanting to intrude. “And a Disney movie?”

 He waited, hoping, as Deceit considered.

“Depends on how much I like your ideas,” the dark side said after a long moment’s consideration. Roman felt a burst of happiness explode in his chest.

 “Thank you!” he called as he turned back to his work. Even just the possibility of a Disney movie and a break for the rest of the evening made him feel happier than he had in a long time.

 And he turned back to his work with renewed vigour.


	5. Chapter 5

The days passed slowly. Roman was kept busy, creating new ideas for Deceit. Some were simple, an idea for a video or storyboarding. Some made him uncomfortable, like using Thomas’ fans for gain.

 Roman didn’t know what Deceit did with his ideas and he didn’t ask. He was intruding enough, just being in the house, if he started asking questions Deceit might not want him around anymore. So he stayed in his room, working on his ideas.

The house gave him a headache. He often didn’t know what was or wasn’t real, and he would occasionally hear people moving downstairs, or voices he knew weren’t there. He grew used to it, focusing on his work and not trusting what he heard or saw. The only thing he knew was real was Deceit.

  He missed his old home. He missed Patton’s cooking, the smell of Logan’s coffee in the mornings, snatches of Virgil’s music drifting through the house. He missed the warmth of his friends, the laughter that seemed to be always present, the late mornings.

But he couldn’t be part of that life anymore. It wasn’t for him. He deserved this dark, cold house. He didn’t deserve the warmth and love of the others. So he focused on his work, doing what Deceit told him. It was all he was good for anyway.

About a week after he had arrived, something caught his eye when he returned from getting food. There was a flicker of movement from down the hall, as if someone had vanished into Deceit’s room.

 He paused, waiting for a moment to see if it would return. He knew Deceit wasn’t back yet so what could it be? Was it the house, playing tricks on his senses again?

 That was the most likely scenario, but Roman suddenly felt the thrill of adventure fill him. He hadn’t faced the unknown for a long time and he suddenly felt an urge to rush into Deceit’s room and take on whatever was there.

 He took a slow step forward, wishing he could summon his sword. He felt better with it in his hand facing the unknown, but he had found that while in Deceit’s realm he couldn’t summon anything.

 “What are you doing?”

 A voice called behind him and he jumped, turning, his hands balling as he did. Deceit stood at the top of the stairs, arms crossed, eyebrows raised.

 He swallowed guiltily – suddenly coming to his senses. Why would it be anything but the house? Even if it had been someone, Deceit had told him not to go into the other rooms and he had almost broken that rule. One of the few rules Deceit had put into place and he couldn’t even keep it.

 “Sorry,” he muttered, lowering his eyes. “I thought I saw someone.”

“I took you in Roman,” Deceit said softly. “I gave you a place to stay. I can easily throw you out again if you don’t listen to the few, small rules I give you.”

 Roman nodded – Deceit was right. He had it easy, really. He didn’t deserve anything and Deceit was offering him a house, a home. He was just being ungrateful by disobeying the few rules that had been put into place.

 Deceit held out his hand to Roman, and the creative side reached for it. Pulling his hand, back, Deceit laced his fingers together and started walking down the hall.

 “You have work to do, Roman,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. Roman nodded again, dropping his hand. He turned to his own room, glancing back at Deceit as he vanished into his room. As the door closed, Roman could have sworn he saw a figure slip through the gap.

 He shook his head, turning back to his room. He was imagining things – and at this point, he wasn’t sure if it was Deceit’s realm affecting him or his own failing sanity.

 It didn’t really matter. No one would care if he went insane.

 Time seemed to hold no meaning in Deceit’s realm. Some days seemed to last weeks, while others only lasted a few hours. Roman began to move through the world in a daze, waking, eating, working, sleeping. The house ceased to bother him – he knew not to trust anything but Deceit. Deceit was the only thing that was real, the only constant.

 Each day he would wake Roman and they would eat breakfast together. Then, Roman would go to his room and work on ideas. Deceit would visit throughout the day, checking up on him, keeping him on track, occasionally taking his ideas and giving him new tasks. Then they would eat an evening meal together and Roman would retire only to repeat the whole thing again the next day.  

 If he had to guess, he had been there for about two weeks when he heard something downstairs. That wasn’t unusual, there were often sounds of people moving. Roman ignored it, focusing on his doodles.

 He knew he shouldn’t doodle, he should focus on his ideas. But sometimes he had to draw – had to do something other than writing ideas all day. Deceit wouldn’t like it but he needed to let his artistic side out every now and then, even though he knew he shouldn’t. 

 The sound from downstairs didn’t stop like it usually did. It sounded like someone in a rage, stomping around the room. And – it sounded like Virgil.

 Roman paused, lifting his pen as he listened to the wraith of the house. It was calling a name – his name, he realised with a start.

 Shaking his head, he turned back to the papers. Footsteps sounded up the stairs, and he hurriedly moved the paper around, hiding his doodles. It sounded like Deceit was back.

 He was still hiding his pages when the door was pushed open. He jumped, surprised at the loudness – Deceit usually snuck into his room, often without him noticing.

 He turned to see Virgil standing in the doorway. Or at least, it looked a lot like Virgil. The eyeshadow was darker than usual, and it had a look of rage covering its face. The rage faded a little as the wraith caught site of Roman.

 “Oh thank goodness,” it said. “I found you.”

 Roman stared at it, surprised at how real it was. Usually, the figures he saw were just shadows, flickers in the corner of his eyes. This one was very realistic.

 It was still talking, moving towards him.

 “Are you okay? Whatever he’s said to you – it isn’t true. He’s called Deceit for a reason.”

 Roman didn’t answer – he should ignore the illusion, should turn back to his work. Deceit could be back at any second and he wouldn’t be pleased to find him not working.

 But the figure was so much like Virgil he couldn’t tear his eyes away. How long would it be until this creation of the house faded away like the ghost it was?

Then it reached him – and pulled him into a hug.

 Roman stiffened, shocked at the sudden contact. And he knew instantly that this was Virgil – the real Virgil. The hug was too real, too solid, too warm for any wraith to replicate.

Virgil stepped back almost as soon as he started the hug, dropping his eyes.

 “Virgil?” Roman asked, still unsure if it really was Virgil. Why would Virgil be here? This place wasn’t nearly as nice as home, what could possibly bring Virgil here?

 Virgil gave a small grin and nodded, dropping onto the bed.

 “Yeah. Are you okay?” he asked.

“Of course, I’m fine!” Roman said. He was. He had more than he deserved, more than he needed. He had a roof over his head, a home other than the theatre, a friend to share it with. What more did he need?

 Virgil stared at him, then continued talking as if Roman hadn’t said anything.

 “Because I know what he does. He makes you think the whole world hates you – except him. He makes you the villain.” Virgil shrugged, lifting an arm. “And I know what this place does. It’s full of lies – makes you question your own senses.”

 Roman bit his lip – everything Virgil said sounded right, except he didn’t think the world hated him. He knew it. Patton had thrown him out. The other sides hated him.

 Why was Virgil here?

 “You should go,” he said suddenly. It didn’t really matter why Virgil was here – he needed to go. Deceit would be back soon, and Deceit wouldn’t be happy finding a visitor here. Besides, Virgil didn’t belong in this dump. Virgil belonged with the love and care of the other sides.

 “What? No, not without you at least,” Virgil said. Roman blinked. That didn’t make any sense – was this some kind of cruel joke? Were the other sides asking him back after only two weeks? Did they need him?

 “What’s happened?” he asked. Virgil let out a frustrated noise.

 “What’s happened? What’s happened is Deceit's kidnapped you! Come on, Roman. You don’t belong here.”

 No, he didn’t belong here. Deceit was being kind enough to give him a space – a home. Why couldn’t Virgil see Roman didn’t belong with the other sides. Why couldn’t Virgil see Roman was happy here?

  But he wasn’t happy, he realised suddenly. He hadn’t felt the rush of excitement that came from exploring new places, from stepping onto the stage, in a long time. He hadn’t felt the joy of creating new things in a long time. He hadn’t felt – well, anything, for so long.

 Virgil shifted, taking Roman’s hand in his. The warm hands of Virgil pulled Roman back to reality and make the room seem more real than it had since he had arrived.

 “I’m real Roman. This place – this place isn’t. It isn’t your home. It isn’t where you need to be. Deceit has lied to you – he’s trying to control you. He wants to use you. Don’t listen to him, Ro. Come home.”

 He couldn’t come home. No matter what, no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t go back – not after Patton had asked him to leave. He pulled his hand back, shaking his head.

 “No – I-I can’t,” he said quietly.

  “Roman, please listen,” Virgil began, but he didn’t get any farther.

  “Well now. I don’t remember having visitor being part of the arrangement, Roman.”   
  
 He spun, a flash of fear rushing through him. No no no no no no. This wasn’t good. Deceit had found him with Virgil. His tasks hadn’t been done. He had let down his only friend. Would he be thrown out?   
   
  A hand was laid on his shoulder and Virgil stood, walking in front of Roman and facing Deceit.  The two stared each other down.

 “Foolish dummy,” Deceit muttered. “Coming into my realm, where I hold all the power.” He flicked his hand and the room seemed to shimmer, the walls waving and the floor rocking. Roman gripped the desk, focusing on Virgil’s arm on his shoulder. That was real. The rest was just an illusion – lies.

“I wasn’t about to leave Roman here once I knew where he was,” Virgil said, squeezing Roman’s shoulder.

 “Well. I guess we shall have to teach you a lesson, won’t we, Verge – that’s what they call you now, isn’t it?” Deceit clapped his hands and the room began shaking widely. Virgil’s hand vanished from his shoulder as Roman struggled to stay in his seat.

 Virgil was knocked to his knees, bracing himself with a hand on the floor. Deceit stood over him, unfazed by the rocking room.

 He crouched, cupping Virgil’s chin in his hands as Anxiety struggled to his feet. As he did, the colour seemed to fade out of Virgil, his purple jacket fading back to black. Fear began taking over Virgil’s face.

 Roman struggled out of his seat, swaying as the room tried its best to knock him down.

 “What are you doing?” he asked, gripping the back of the chair. He couldn’t even stand on his own.

 Deceit looked up at him and smiled.

 “He needs to be reminded of who he really is.”

 Virgil was now completely colourless and Deceit effortlessly picked him up, slinging the unresisting side over his shoulder. As he did, the room stopped rocking. Roman stumbled, surprised at the sudden calm.

 “What are you doing!” he repeated as Deceit left the room. “Where are you taking him.” Whatever Deceit was going to do he didn’t think he was going to be good. He rushed to stop him, but Deceit flicked his wrist and the door shut behind him, slamming in Roman’s face.

  “What are you doing with him!” Roman shouted, trying to push the door open. It had been locked. He wrenched at the handle, fear for his friend filling him. “Don’t hurt him!” he shouted. Deceit wouldn’t hurt him – right?

 But the fear covering Virgil’s face and the calm anger on Deceit’s came back to him. Maybe Deceit would hurt him.

 “Please! Don’t hurt him!” he shouted again, pounding on the door. “Don’t hurt him.”   
  
 He slumped against the door, tears pricking his eyes. Angrily, he forced them back. This was his fault. This was all his fault. Virgil had come looking for him and it was well within Deceit’s rights to be angry at Virgil’s trespassing. Anything that happened to Virgil was Roman’s fault.

 He leaned against the door, a silent tear trickling down his cheek. It wasn’t enough that his friends hated him, that he inconvenienced and annoyed them. Now they were going to get hurt because of him.


	6. Chapter 6

  He stayed slumped against the door, knocking and trying the handle, for what felt like hours. He was helpless, hopeless, useless. Who knew what Deceit was doing? What was happening to Virgil?

 And it was all Roman’s fault. If he had sent Virgil away sooner, if he had kept the rules, if he had done _something_ more. Why was he so useless? Now Virgil could be hurt – or worse – and it was his fault.

 Eventually, when Deceit made no reappearance, he pushed himself off the ground and returned to the desk. He still needed to work on his ideas. He still needed to thank Deceit for taking him in.

 But he couldn’t focus. He couldn’t think of anything but Virgil’s fear-stricken face as Deceit carried him out the door.

 His pen moved almost without his prompting as he wrote the same words over and over again.

  _This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault._

 He should have done something more. He should have listened to the others more. He should have been less annoying so they wouldn’t have had to throw him out. He should have obeyed Deceit. He should have been better.

  _This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault._

 With a shout of anger, he pushed all the papers off his desk, watching as they drifted to the ground. He collapsed onto the desk, burying his head in his arms.

  _This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault. This is all my fault!_  

 “Roman, what’s happened?”

 He jerked his head up, his face streaked with tears as he found himself pulled back to reality. How long had he been sitting there, doing nothing?   
  
 Deceit stood in the door, his arms crossed and looking annoyed.

 “S-sorry, I just -I,” Roman began, collecting his thoughts as he hurriedly gathered up the papers. Then he remembered and stopped suddenly.

 “Where’s Virgil?” he asked,  turning to face Deceit, his fear suddenly gone. What had Deceit done to his friend? Was Virgil okay?

 “Virgil?” Deceit asked, frowning slightly. “Virgil was never here.”

 Roman stared at him, shaking his head slightly.

 “No – no he was just here. This morning. He came and you – you took him. What did you do to him?”

 “You must be imagining things, Roman. Wouldn’t be the first time. Virgil was never here and I never did anything to him. Now stop being so foolish and do your work. Please Roman, I need your wonderful ideas.”

 Roman opened his mouth to protest again – Virgil _had_ been here – when he saw Deceit’s face. It was full of annoyance, and a little confusion. Maybe Deceit wasn’t lying.

But he was sure Virgil had been here. He was sure he had seen and felt Virgil. He was sure Deceit had taken him somewhere.

 Then again, the house played many tricks on his mind. How many times had he thought he had seen or heard something only to find it wasn’t real? Maybe the house had come up with an image of Virgil – maybe his own weak mind had.

  “I – sorry,” he muttered, lowering his head and gathering the last of the paper. Had Virgil been real, or was it only his imagination.

 Realistically, the latter was more likely. Why would Virgil come after him anyway? Patton had said the others found him annoying and he was at odds with Virgil more than the others. Why would he come to find Roman? Why would he care?

 Deceit had left, and Roman stood, placing a pile of papers on his desk. He sighed, trying to clear his head. Virgil had never been here – it had just been a dream or his vivid imagination. It had only seemed so real because Roman missed his friends, even if they didn’t miss him.

 He wanted to be relieved. If Virgil had never come here then Deceit hadn’t taken him, and he was safe. But a selfish part of him was disappointed Virgil had never come after him – though not surprised. It was foolish to think his friend would care enough to come after him – especially after Patton had thrown him out.

So he sat down at his desk again, picking up his pen. The paper on the desk glared up at him, telling him it was all his fault. He sighed, crumpling the paper into a ball and dropping it into the rubbish bin beside the desk.

 He knew it was his fault.

 He didn’t work long, and couldn’t focus for what little of the day he had left. He was glad to finally be able to collapse into bed and sleep. His dreams that night were more vivid than usual, filled with his friends turning their backs on him, filled with him causing them to be hurt.

  He felt a little better the next day, though he still felt muddled and confused. Deceit was more dismissive than usual and didn’t stay long, telling Roman to get to work and vanishing.

 Roman tried to focus on his work – he knew he had to, he knew that Deceit needed the ideas – but he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fake Virgil he had seen yesterday, and his gut feeling that it wasn’t a wraith of his imagination.

 “So this is where you’ve been hiding away.”

Roman looked up, surprised that Deceit was back already, and at his word choice. But it wasn’t Deceit standing in the doorway – it was Logan.

 He turned back to his work, it was just another creature he had come up with. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t actually Logan.

 “Roman this is uncalled for. You’ve been acting distant and strange for almost a month – now you’re ignoring me? It is foolish and pointless, stop it.”

 “You’re not real,” Roman said, turning to face the image of Logan.

 “Of course I’m real. Honestly Roman, what has got into you? Stop acting like an idiot.”

 Roman bit his lip, turning back to his paper as Logan continued to talk.

 “For that matter, what’s has gotten into everyone. You’ve been acting strange, Patton’s all worked up – at least I understand that – and now Virgil’s gone missing.”

 Roman jerked his head up again, the implication of the last words sinking in.

 “V-Virgil’s missing?” he asked.

 “Yes, I told you this morning. Were you not listening? He went out for some reason yesterday and hasn’t come back. It’s upset Patton even more.”

Roman frowned, trying to figure out what was going on. Seeing Logan made him think that maybe he had actually seen Virgil yesterday – maybe Deceit had taken him.

 But if that was the case, what was Logan talking about when he said he had spoken to Roman that morning? Roman hadn’t left Deceit’s house for two weeks.

 Suddenly it clicked. Where Deceit had been all this time. How Virgil knew where he was. Logan saying he had talked to Roman that morning. Patton being all worked up.

 “Deceit,” he muttered. The dark side had taken his place. He had impersonated Roman and taken his place. That’s what his ideas were for – Deceit was using them. That’s why he was only in the house for a short time.

 And that’s why Patton was worked up – if Deceit had taken his place, Patton would think he hadn’t left when he had asked. Patton would have to live with being around someone he hated.

 “What?” Logan asked sharply. Roman suddenly realised his mistake. He had promised not to tell the others he had contact with Deceit.

 “Nothing,” he muttered quickly.

 “No – you said Deceit. Is he here? What’s going on, Roman?”

 Roman cursed inwardly – Logan knew. Logan had found out. Now Deceit would know Roman had betrayed him. Deceit would throw him out and Roman would have to live alone, drifting. He would have to live with the fact that he had let his friend down.

 Logan’s quick mind was obviously putting the pieces together. He muttered a curse and played with his tie.

 “I’ve been blind,” he muttered. “Deceit’s behind all this. How long have you been seeing him?”  
  
 “Logan, I didn’t say anything about Deceit,” Roman said desperately. “I – I’ve just been having a bad few days.” He trailed off, knowing it sounded weak. But he wasn’t going to betray Deceit if he could help it.

 “Falsehood,” Logan said. “He’s been influencing you, using you. He took you here and took your place – didn’t he?” He started pacing, his hands laced behind his back. “He’s been the one coming up with all those ridiculous ideas.” Suddenly he stopped, turning to face Roman. “What happened to Virgil?”

 Roman opened his mouth to protest, to say Deceit had nothing to do with anything, to try and salvage the whole mess. But he knew that it was too late – Logan had figured it out. He dropped his eyes.

 “He – he came in yesterday. Deceit took him – I’m not sure where,” he muttered, cursing himself for the slip-up, for making such a mess of everything.

 Logan began pacing again, his mind obviously working through everything. He nodded once, turning to Roman. 

 “I’ll go find Patton, then we can –” he stopped, silent for a moment, then began again, quieter. “Are – are you okay, Roman?”

  Roman bit his lip – of course he wasn’t fine. But he couldn’t tell Logan that, couldn’t let him know. Because he should be fine. Why was it surprising that his friends hated him? Why wasn’t he grateful Deceit had given him a home.

 “Of course,” he said, softly, hoping Logan would leave it at that. He didn’t

 “That seems hard to believe. You’ve exiled yourself from your home and your friends, found yourself in this dump,” he gestured around Deceit’s home – which, Roman had to admit, could be called a dump by some people. But at least it was a home, with a roof, and a friend. At least it was something. “Why did you leave, Roman? Did Deceit kidnap you? Or did you chose to go?”

 Roman opened his mouth, about to tell Logan what had happened, how Patton had told him to leave. But he stopped – it seemed Patton hadn’t told the others he had exiled Roman, and Roman didn’t want to be the one to share the news. If Patton didn’t want the others to know, there was probably a reason.

 And he wasn’t about to lay the blame on Deceit – Deceit who had given him a place, a home. No, he couldn’t betray his only friend like that. 

 “I chose to go,” he said, which was close enough to the truth without hurting anyone.

 “I find that hard to believe as well,” Logan said. “But if you’re not ready to talk, so be it. We need to find Virgil now, anyway.”

Roman nodded – that was something they agreed on. He wanted to find Virgil, to know that his friend was safe and happy.

 “Stay here, I’ll get Patton and then we can find Virgil,” Logan said. Roman shook his head quickly.

 “No, we don’t ne-” but it was too late – Logan had left. He gritted his teeth, realising he didn’t want to see Patton – realising he was angry at the moral side. Out of all the other sides, he had expected Patton to be the last to turn on him. He realised that deep inside he was angry about that – angry that Patton had betrayed him.

 He shouldn’t be, he knew. Patton had a right to hate him – it shouldn’t be surprising that he threw Roman out. But he couldn’t help the soft, burning anger he felt inside, no matter how undeserved it was.

 Logan was back soon, Patton behind him. The latter rushed into the room as he arrived, arms out for a hug. Roman stepped aside, avoiding his hug – he didn’t want Patton’s fake friendship.

 He seemed disappointed, dropping his arms and stepped back beside Logan.

 “How’re you doing, Kiddo?” he asked. “Logan told me what happened – I hope you’re okay.”   
  
  _‘Stop lying, you don’t have to. We both know it’s all fake_ ,’ Roman thought but didn’t say anything. Patton was pretending for a reason – Roman would play along for as long as he had to.

 “Fine,” he said shortly.

 “Are you sure, you seem upset,” Patton said. “You know we’re here for you, right?”   
  
 Roman nodded, noticing Logan had moved into the hall. He stood and pushed past Patton to join the logical side.

 Logan had stopped outside one of the door Deceit had forbidden him to enter.

 “Don’t – don’t go in there,” Roman muttered. He was unsure if Logan had heard him. If the others went into that room Deceit would be even more angry at him. He would have broken two rules, he would be thrown out for sure – and he would have paid back Deceit’s kindness with betrayal.

 “Why not?” Patton asked beside him. “Virgil might be there, and we can’t leave until we find him.”   
  
 “I – we’re not allowed in there,” Roman said quietly. Patton frowned.

 “Deceit told you that?” he asked, and Roman nodded. “Well – he doesn’t have power over you, Kiddo. Let’s find out what he’s hiding.” He moved forward, joining Logan at the door. Roman followed, scared.

 Patton wanted to get him in trouble – Patton wanted to break the rules. But why? Would Patton do that? He might if he hated Roman – which he had made clear he did.

 Logan opened the door, and Roman couldn’t help himself. His curiosity got the better of him and he stepped forward to see what was in the room.

 It was dark – very dark – and it took him a second to see what furniture was in the small room. A bed took up the centre, a desk and wardrobe along the wall. Other than that, nothing.

He turned his attention to the bed and his breath caught in his throat.

 A figure lay curled in a motionless ball, hands clenched beside his face. Roman took an involuntary step forward as he realised it was Virgil. Limp, unmoving, still as the grave.


	7. Chapter 7

“Virgil! Verge, hey, you okay Kiddo?” Patton rushed into the room, crouching beside the bed and shaking Virgil gently. “Virgil – Verge wake up.”

 Roman found himself frozen in the doorway, wanting to move to Virgil’s side, to make sure he was okay, but he couldn’t bring himself to step into the room, to break Deceit’s rule.

Logan moved to Virgil’s side as well, looking him over worriedly.

 “What happened?” Patton asked, looking up.

 “I’m not sure – but whatever the case we need to get him back home – we can’t do much for him here, not where Deceit has all the power,” Logan answered.

 Roman watched them, knowing he should go back to his room, that he should ignore the other sides and do what he was told. But he couldn’t bring himself to leave – it was his fault Virgil was lying motionless, it was his fault this had happened. He needed to know if Virgil was going to be alright.

 Logan gently picked Virgil up, seemingly surprised at how light he found Virgil.

 “Roman, let’s go,” he said, turning to face Roman. He opened his mouth to protest, to say he was staying, to tell Logan to leave.

Then suddenly Patton was in front of him, gently holding his arms.

 “Come on, Roman,” he said. “We need to get out of here.”   
  
 “No – I – I can’t,” he said, confusion and hurt swirling in his stomach – was Patton inviting him home again? Was he giving Roman a way back? Why would he do that? Roman was the reason Virgil had been hurt, Roman was the reason they were here at all. Why would Patton be inviting him home?

 “We can talk later – right now we need to get Virgil out of here – okay?” Patton said. Logan nodded.

 “We might need your help for that,” he said.

 That was something Roman could understand. They wanted him back because they needed him. But he still didn’t want to leave when Deceit had told him to stay – what if Deceit didn’t let him back? What if going back with the others would mean he would be stranded forever?

 “We need to get you both home, Ro,” Patton said, gripping his arms. With a blink, Roman suddenly found himself in the commons.

 He reoriented himself and suddenly felt a rush of emotions – happiness, guilt, fear and a bubbling of excitement. The brightly lit room made him feel more hopeful than he had felt for a number of days, and the soft scent of slightly burnt cookies reminded him of home.

 But he couldn’t stay. Deceit would be looking for him soon and the others only wanted him back in case they needed him to help Virgil recover. He would soon be thrown out again – like he deserved. This luxury wasn’t for him.

 Logan was laying Virgil down on the couch and Patton moved to his side.

 “Roman, could you get some blankets?” Logan asked. “I don’t want to risk entering his room until he’s awake again, so we’ll have to look after him here.”

 Roman nodded, glad to be of use and for an excuse to stay longer. He would soon be going, returning to Deceit’s home to beg to be forgiven and taken in again. But for now, he was glad to be back in the comfort of his old home.

 He moved up the stairs, following the familiar path, and stepped into his room.

 As he did, a rush of emotions suddenly slammed into his chest– so much it physically hurt. The walls were bright, Disney posters and pictures he had drawn covering them. The whole room felt happy and alive, felt so much more like home than Deceit’s house.

 But it wasn’t his room anymore. He grabbed a blanket off his bed and left, closing the door behind him with a heavy heart. He didn’t belong here, didn’t deserve a room like that.

 He returned to the others with the blanket thrown over his shoulder to find Logan and Patton talking quietly together, only for them to stop as he entered the room. Roman ignored it, though he knew they were talking about him, and handed Logan the blanket.

 “Thanks, Roman,” he said, gently laying it over the motionless form of Virgil.

 “Is – is he okay?” Roman asked hesitantly, knowing they would likely not want him to be asking questions. But he needed to know.

 “I think so,” Logan said. “He should recover now that he’s away from Deceit’s influence.”

 Relief washed over him, and Roman nodded. Virgil was going to be alright. Virgil wasn't badly hurt because of him. And once he left he would make sure the others never followed him again – that they would never be hurt because of him again.

  He stepped away silently, ready to leave. But he suddenly felt the need to retrieve something – anything – from his room. Something to remind him of what he had lost because of his mistakes, something to remind him to never take what he had for granted.

 So he slipped up the stairs again, the others not noticing as they hovered over Virgil. He stepped into his room, forcing down the rush of nostalgia and longing as he entered. A quick glance around the room had him decide – he would bring his Christmas sweater. The others wouldn’t want it – it was made especially for him – and he didn’t think Deceit would want him to bring his sword.

 So, he picked up the shirt and folded it carefully, turning to leave. To finally put his old life behind him. To abandon who he was and work to be better – if that was even possible for him.

 Patton was standing in the door. He jumped, surprised to see the other side. Then the anger rose again. Patton had thrown him out, then when he had found a place he had dragged him back, put his position in Deceit’s house in danger. And for what – bringing a blanket downstairs?

 “What do you want?” he asked wearily. He was tired of dealing with the other sides – of pretending he was happy.

 “I just want to talk,” Patton said. Roman sighed.

 “I’m already going, Patton,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me to.”

 A look of confusion and hurt crossed Patton’s face and he stepped into the room.

 “What do you mean? You’re back – why would you want to go again?”

 “Stop pretending Patton!” Roman snapped, suddenly unable to keep up the charade. It was one thing for Patton to throw him out, but it was another for him to pretend it had never happened.

 Patton took a step back, the hurt on his face deepening. 

 “W – what do you mean, Kiddo?” 

 “Just stop it! Stop pretending, stop acting like you care!” His eyes were pricking with tears as he shouted, angry and hurt. Because it had hurt – it had hurt so much when Patton had thrown him out. It had hurt so much when Patton had betrayed him.

 “What are you talking about, Roman!” Patton cried, taking a step forward. Roman took a step back, not wanting Patton’s false comfort or lies.

 “You threw me out!” he shouted, wiping his eyes angrily. “You told me to leave. And now you’re pretending it didn’t happen? It’s just cruel!”

 Shock and surprise washed over Patton’s face, then his expression softened.

 “I would _never_ ,” he said fiercely. “You’re part of the family, Ro. I would _never_ tell you to leave.” His eyes were shimmering and Roman realised he was on the verge of tears as well.

 Maybe – maybe he was telling the truth. But Roman knew what he had seen, he knew it had been Patton who had sat beside him, who had told him to leave.

 Had that been his imagination as well? Was all this his imagination – for all he knew he could still be in Deceit’ house, he could have imagined everything that had happened in the past few days.

 “Are you okay, Roman?” Patton asked softly. Roman blinked, his vision blurred with tears.

 And suddenly he was crying, crying because he was so tired. Crying because he wanted to relax. Crying because he wanted to feel secure again. Crying because he wanted to know if Virgil was going to be alright. Crying because he wanted to _go home_.

 And then Patton’s arms were around him and he was clinging to the other side as though letting go would mean the end. And they sank to the ground, Patton’s warm arms wrapped around him, his beating heart thumping in Roman’s ear.

 And the tears came faster because even if this wasn’t real, even if he would wake up again in Deceit’s house, even if he didn’t deserve it, the solid feeling of Patton’s body made him feel safer than he had in weeks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was a fun chapter to write!! Enjoy it guys!

 

Somehow, he wasn't entirely sure how they had convinced him to stay - at least for the night. Now, Roman found himself curled on the couch downstairs, watching the motionless form of Virgil. The others had suggested he look after Virgil while they slept, and he was glad to be useful - he was glad to stay for a little while longer.

Roman could hear the faint murmur of conversation from upstairs, and he wondered if Patton and Logan were talking about him, talking about how long they would let him stay.

 Patton hadn’t thrown him out – was that true? But if it hadn’t been Patton, who had it been? Had it been Deceit, impersonating Patton? But Deceit had helped him, had taken him in – why would he have had Roman thrown out of his home in the first place?

He didn’t know what was real anymore – didn’t know if he was going to wake up in Deceit’s house soon or find the other sides turning on him in the morning.

He turned his attention to the still bundle on the couch – just making out the erratic rising and falling of Virgil’s chest. He hadn’t woken or shown any sign of consciousness since they had found him, and Roman was beginning to fear Logan was wrong – that he wouldn’t be alright.

The night wore on, and he could hear the faint echoes of conversation die away as the others went to bed. The silence was suddenly overpowering, and he felt very alone.

 And yet – he was still more at home than he ever was while at Deceit’s house. The creeks and thumps from the darkness weren’t sinister, didn’t keep him on edge. No, the night noises here were normal, comforting in a way.

 He found himself relaxing, his eyes drooping. He hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and he was so tired. Virgil’s breathing had calmed, and the soft sounds of him sleeping soothed Roman even more.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding away.”

 Roman suddenly jerked awake, stumbling off his chair. His heart was suddenly in his mouth and his eyes darting around the room.

 “S-sorry, I was – he’s fine – I just,” he began, thinking one of the others had found him sleeping on the job.

 “Roman, stop it. It’s just me.”   
  
 Roman shakily pulled himself up to a sitting position to see Deceit, standing behind the kitchen counter. He wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or even more terrified. 

 “W-what are you doing here?” he asked, pulling himself into his seat as he did.

 “I’m looking for you. You vanished on me, abandoned my hospitality for those who threw you out. Roman, that hurts."

 Roman lowered his eyes, he knew he had no excuse. And he would understand if Deceit wouldn’t take him back. Because no matter how much he wanted it, he didn’t deserve to return to Deceit’s home. Didn’t deserve to even be here.

 Why had he agreed to stay? It was a stupid idea – but then, was a stupid idea coming from Roman really that unlikely? They were all the ideas he could have, really.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered, not meeting Deceit’s eyes.

 “I’ll forgive you,” Deceit said softly. “But only this once.”   
  
 Roman looked up, the shock and surprise from the answer showing on his face.

 “R -really?” he asked, hardly able to believe his ears. Deceit nodded. "Thank you!" 

 “But really Roman, you need to stop going back. If you keep visiting them, if you keep interacting with them, if you keep trying to rekindle long-dead relationships – more of them will get hurt.” He nodded to Virgil’s motionless form on the couch. “That was your fault – who’s going to get hurt next? Logan? Patton?”

 Roman nodded, lowering his eyes again. Deceit was right – he needed to cut all ties with the others. He needed to leave and never see them again. He looked up slowly.

 “Can-can you come up with some way to stop them coming after me?” he asked. Deceit smiled.

 “That's a wonderful idea,” he said. “Come, I’ll take you home.”

He nodded, about to stand, then Patton’s words came back to him, and he stopped.

_“_ _You’re part of the family, Ro. I would never tell you to leave.”_

He hesitated, casting a look upstairs. Had Patton really meant that? Or was he playing a joke? At the moment, it had seemed real, but now, in the darkness and silence of night, Deceit standing in front of him, he wasn’t so sure.

“Roman, come on,” Deceit said quietly. “Even if you want to stay, you can’t risk hurting them again – right?”

 That decided him. And he knew, that if he stayed, somehow they would get hurt. He was just being selfish. He didn’t belong here, in the warmth and friendship of this home. He didn’t deserve the friends who lived here. Slowly, he moved towards Deceit.

  Deceit held out his hand, and he reached for it, hesitantly, still wanting to turn around and run upstairs, to shout for Patton and Logan and send Deceit away. But no – if he did that the others would get hurt. If he did that, Deceit would never take him back. If he did that, he would be throwing Deceit’s friendship and kindness back into his face. He couldn’t let down his friend like that.

 So he reached forward, knowing that a touch would end his stay here forever.

  “Stop!”

 The shout froze Roman and he turned slowly. Patton was standing on the edge of the stairs, gripping the railing.

 “Roman, don’t go with him,” he said. His eyes were full of fear, and for a moment Roman wondered if he was actually scared for him – if Patton was worried Deceit would hurt him. But Deceit was his friend – Deceit would never hurt him.

 Right?

 “This isn’t about you, go back to bed now,” Deceit said quietly. Roman looked back at him, to see the flicker of fear in his eyes vanish – hidden well.

 “You shut up,” Patton snarled, the anger in his voice startling Roman. He had never heard Patton so worked up.

 “I don’t think so. In any case, this has nothing to do with you – this is Roman’s choice. And he knows which one -”

 “No. I told you to. Shut. The hell. Up.”

 Patton was walking forward, stalking across the room to stand on the other side of the kitchen bench, staring across at Deceit. Seeing the usually happy and kind Patton so angry scared Roman a little.

 “You are hurting my family.”   
  
 “I have done nothing – in fact, I’ve helped Roman, haven’t I?” Deceit turned to Roman and he opened his mouth, unsure who’s side to take.

 “I – I don’t,” Roman began, trying to find the words. “H – he took me in after I was thrown out,” he muttered.

 “Who do you think threw you out in the first place?” Patton asked, turning to look at Roman. He tensed, scared that the anger would now be turned on him – had he done something wrong?

 But Patton’s face softened as he faced Roman, his usual smile replacing the angry glare.

 “I didn’t throw you out, so who else could it have been? I figured it out – it had to be Deceit, impersonating me. He pretended to be me so he could push you away from your family – so he could take you to his realm where he held the power.”

 Deceit swallowed nervously and began sinking out. Patton spun around, clenching a fist and suddenly Deceit bounded up again, surprise covering his face.

 “I’m not finished with you yet, don’t go running away.”

 “What did you -?” he gasped. “How did you do that?”

 “I can do a lot of things you don’t know about,” Patton said. “But we need to talk.”

 “What about?” Deceit asked, still trying to keep face. But Roman could tell he was terrified of the moral side before him.

 “What do you think?” Patton demanded, his voice rising as he spoke. “About how you are pulling my family apart. About how you made Roman scared of his own shadow – made him think his own family didn’t love him. About how you did who knows what to Virgil. About how you’re making Thomas’ friends and fans question him. About how you are tearing us apart and trying to ruin everything!”

 “I’m simply trying to help,” he said slowly. “We could do so much better, have a much better life. You’ve all made it very clear that you won’t listen to me, so I have to find other means, it’s not my fault if they’re not the most –”

  _Slam_.

  Patton’s hands thudded down on the bench, causing Roman to flinch. He stepped back, suddenly very afraid of the usually calm side.

 Deceit flinched as well, taking a step back. He recovered himself more quickly than Roman, folding his hands together and watching Patton carefully – like an animal watches its hunter.

 “Don’t you _dare_ say this isn’t your fault. Don’t you _dare_ try to put the blame on someone else. We do not need any more possessions. We – Thomas is happy as he is, and if we listened to you – what do you think would happen?” his voice was raising in tempo, getting faster, his movements more erratic. Roman cast a glance at Virgil – his still form didn’t seem disturbed by the noise.

 “You are hurting my family for your own gain!” Patton shouted. “You are trying to get what you want without a thought for anyone else. Get the hell out of here and if I ever – and I mean _ever_ – see your slimy face anywhere near any of my family again I will make you regret it.” He leaned across the bench, grabbing Deceit by the collar of his cape. The dark side didn’t even try to hide his fear now. “Do you understand?” Patton asked. Deceit nodded.

 After a long moment, Patton finally let him go, and he scrambled back, out of reach. Quickly composing himself, brushing down his clothes and adjusting his hat, he locked eyes with Roman.

 The creative side dropped his eyes, unable to look at the other.

 “I won’t see you again,” Deceit said softly.

 “We had better not,” Patton answered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter and then there will be an epilogue. There is a sequel, as this ends on a bit of a cliffhanger. Thank you to everyone who read this and stuck with me! I'm excited to finish, and to post the next story!   
> I also have a new AU idea, so keep an eye out for some stories based in that universe (one word: A.I. Or does that count as two? I'm not sure haha!)

There was a long pause after Deceit had gone, then Patton seemed to collapse into himself. He slumped against the bench, bracing himself against it and letting out a breath. Then he turned to Roman, who found himself standing in front of Virgil’s sleeping form.

 “Are you okay?” Patton asked, all the anger gone out of his voice.  Now he just sounded tired. Roman nodded, not wanting to say anything unless he caused Patton to begin shouting again. Patton sighed, dropping his eyes.

 “I’m sorry if I scared you, Kiddo,” he said quietly. “I just – Deceit was hurting you, was trying to tear my family apart, was trying to make Thomas become dishonest. I couldn’t let him do that.”  
  
 Roman nodded again, still unable to trust himself to talk. He was scared, his body shaking slightly. His chances with Deceit were gone he suddenly realised. If Patton did throw him out again – no, that hadn’t even happened.

  “Roman…” Patton took a hesitant step forward, and Roman took an involuntary step away from him. Patton dropped, dropping his arms and stepping back.

 “Sorry,” Roman muttered. He knew Patton wouldn’t hurt him, but he had never seen Patton so angry. And if Patton could be angry like that, what else could he do? He glanced back at Virgil, making sure there was no change, then stepped towards the stairs. He was tired. He needed to get away from the others. He needed to sleep.

  “Roman, wait,” Patton called. He stopped, turning around, too scared of Patton to disobey. The moral side was standing in the room, looking tired and sad. And suddenly Roman was less afraid of him.  He was just Patton, after all. “We shouldn't end the night like this. I’m sorry I scared you – I just, I couldn’t let him take you again. I saw that place – I’ve seen how staying there has changed you. I couldn’t let you go back and I didn’t know what else to do.” He dropped his eyes, unable to meet Roman’s.

 “It was a home,” Roman muttered, still not wanting to disregard the kindness Deceit had shown him.

 “No, it wasn’t a home. A home is here, with your friends – with your family. A home is where you’re felt loved and cared for, where you know that you belong because of who you are, not because of what you do. Deceit’s house wasn’t a home – it was a prison.”

 Roman nodded slowly, beginning to realise Patton was right. He hadn’t enjoyed living with Deceit – maybe drifting through the mind palace would have been better after all. But he didn’t need to do either, he realised. Patton actually wanted him here. Patton actually cared about him.

 And suddenly he felt like crying. Patton wanted him here. He didn’t have to leave ever again. It may be selfish of him, but he was so, so glad. So glad that he wasn’t going to be thrown out, so glad that he could stay – stay in the warmth and comfort of his home. He could stay.

 “Thank you,” he said quietly. If Patton hadn’t driven Deceit off, he would have continued the meaningless life he had had with the dark side. Patton had saved him.

 “I’m just glad you’re safe, Kiddo,” Patton said, smiling up at him. Roman nodded, moving up the stairs towards his room.

 He still couldn’t believe that Deceit hadn’t cared about him though. Deceit had been nice to him, and Roman felt bad for leaving. What if Deceit needed him and he wasn’t there? What if Deceit hated him because he had left?

 Torn between the comfort of home and the feelings of his friend, he curled into his bed. His worries didn’t last long, however, and he was soon fast asleep, sleeping better than he had for a long time.

 

 The morning smells of pancakes and coffee drifting up from downstairs made Roman feel as though he had never left. He lay in bed for a long moment, listening to the soft talking of Patton and Logan as they prepared breakfast, warm and happy. He never wanted to leave.

 But he had to. He may be back, but he couldn’t lie around in bed all day. He would need to get back to work, to start making ideas – ideas that Patton would like.

 If he was being honest, he was very glad he didn’t have to continue thinking the ideas Deceit wanted. He knew he was being self-centred, but he hadn’t liked Deceit’s ideas, hadn’t liked making new ones. He was glad to be home, where he was free to make his own ideas.

  He moved downstairs to Patton’s cheering greeting. Everything felt – normal. It felt wrong – his whole world had been turned upside down and everything had changed – why was Patton acting like it was normal.

 But the dark figure on the couch reminded him that it wasn’t all normal. Logan was crouched beside Virgil’s form, checking him over as Patton busied himself in the kitchen.

 “Good morning, Roman,” Logan said as he stood. Addressing Patton, he continued. “He shows no sign of changing, which could mean anything. I do believe that with time he will be alright again.”

 Roman felt a rush of relief as he seated himself at the table and he could see the relief echoed on Patton’s face.

 “But when will he wake up?” Patton asked. Logan shrugged, sitting down across from Roman.

 “I don’t know exactly – who knows what Deceit did to him. And who knows how he will act when he wakes up again.”  
  
 “But he’ll be okay?” Roman asked. He felt the curl of guilt squeeze his stomach again as he looked back at Virgil.

“I believe he will recover adequately,” Logan said, locking eyes with him, and Roman read the silent message there. _This was your fault_. He dropped his eyes.

  Roman was quiet through most of the meal, listening to Patton chat cheerfully. Eventually, Logan moved back upstairs, a mug of coffee in his hands. Roman moved to leave as well.

 “Ro, I need to duck out and talk to Thomas for a while, tell him what’s been going on,” Patton said. A sudden, unexpected rush of fear flashed through Roman. If Patton wasn’t around who would protect him if Deceit came back? “Will you be okay? Logan’ll be here if you need him, alright?”

 Roman nodded, not wanting to stop Patton from doing what he wanted because he was scared of something that would likely not even happen.

 “Thanks, Kiddo,” Patton said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, alright?”

 Patton sunk out, and suddenly Roman was left alone, the silent form of Virgil the only other figure in the room. He moved to Virgil’s side, making sure he was comfortable. He looked peaceful as he slept, his dark eyeshadow almost all worn off and his usual frown gone. Roman gently pulled the blanket covering him up, hoping he would wake up soon.

 This was his fault – his fault Virgil might never wake up again. If he had been nicer, if he had refused to let Virgil stay, if he had done _something_ …

 Then he would never have come home. But what was more important – his happiness, or Virgil’s safety? There was only really one answer.

 He moved upstairs, not feeling safe alone in the commons. His room was calming, forcing back some of his fears and guilts. He would be okay. Virgil would be okay. He let out a breath, seating himself at his desk and preparing to work. Thomas would be falling behind on his videos, his fans would start worrying and it would be Roman’s fault. He needed to work.

 The ideas came faster here, in his room, in his realm. Soon he was lost in dreamland, chasing ideas to see where they lead, sketching storyboards and discarding them, scribbling outlines of ideas. It felt good to be working properly again.

  A knock on the door pulled him out of his focus. He turned slightly, wondering if Patton was back already.

 “Logan?” he asked.

  “Not quite.” The door was being pushed open as the voice from behind it came, low and dangerous. Roman’s heart skipped a beat, then began again, twice as fast as before.

 No. What was he doing here? He shouldn’t be here.

 And yet, when Deceit entered the room, Roman felt a mixture of happiness and fear. Deceit was his friend – why did he keep abandoning his friend?

 “W – what are you doing back here?” he asked. He wanted Deceit to go away – he wanted to go with Deceit. He wanted to hide under his covers until Deceit was gone – he wanted to reach out and leave with Deceit. He wanted the conflicting feelings to stop.

 “This is your last chance Roman,” he said quietly. “If you don’t come with me now, I will not take you in again.”

 He should go. He should go because it would only be a matter of time until the others realised they didn’t like him around after all. He should go because Deceit was his friend and he didn’t want to let his friend down. He should go because he liked hearing Deceit praise him, he liked hearing Deceit’s acting tips. He should go because no one would care if he left.

 He didn’t know what to do. The thought of letting Deceit down and never seeing him again scared him but going back to Deceit’s house terrified him even more.  

 “I’m waiting,” Deceit said quietly.

 “L – Logan,” he called, hoping the other side would hear him. He didn’t want to face Deceit alone.

 “He’s busy,” Deceit said, a small smile dancing on the edge of his lips. “He can’t help.”

 “What did you do to him?” Roman growled.

 “Nothing. He’s perfectly safe, just preoccupied. Now, come on, let’s go home.”

 Roman gripped his pencil, trying to sort out the muddled thoughts in his mind.  Then, he thought of Patton’s warm hug, of his assurances that they did want him here. Of warm breakfasts, of Logan’s soft conversation. Of Virgil’s small grins and the friendly bickering amongst his friends.

  Maybe they didn’t need him, but he needed them.  And if they were offering their help, maybe he should take it.

“No,” he said slowly.

 “No?” Deceit repeated, slowly. Roman nodded, slowly tightening his clench on the pen.

 “No. I’m not going back. I don’t want to go back.” He lowered his face, not wanted to see the eyes of Deceit, full of betrayal.

  “Roman, please, I just want you to be happy,” he said.  “It’s lonely out there,  I have no friends. Come with me and we can make that place as much as a home as this – more even.”

 Roman hesitated, wondering if what Deceit said was true. Maybe it was. Maybe he was just lonely, just wanting a friend, just wanting to do what’s best for Thomas.

  But then he remembered the lies, how Deceit had pretended to be Patton, how he had done something to Virgil.

  “Get out of here, right now,” Roman said sharply.  

“Roman, no need to be so offensive,” Deceit said, sounding hurt. Roman pushed back his guilt and shook his head.

 “Get out before Patton comes back, alright?”  

“We can make this work, I still need your help. Come on Roman, we can do better this time. Make my realm really your home.”

 “Get. Out,” he growled, and suddenly the pencil had vanished from his hand and he was holding his sword.

 Deceit narrowed his eyes, then shrugged.

 “So be it,” he said. “Goodbye, Roman.”

 And he vanished.

 Roman dismissed his sword, slumping back into his seat. What had he done? Why had he done that? Now he would never see Deceit again.

 “I’m sorry,” he muttered, leaning over his desk and resting his head in his hands. “I’m sorry.”

 He stayed that way until Patton returned, not long after. Warm arms wrapped around him and he curled into Patton’s embrace, not needing to speak.

 Maybe – maybe everything would be alright. Maybe he didn’t need Deceit. Virgil would be alright and things could be like they were before. And as he sat there, warm and safe in Patton’s arms, he realised Deceit never hugged him – never even touched him.

 And he sat there, thinking that maybe the world was alright after all.

 Logan called from downstairs, a shout that made Roman’s heart leap.

 “He’s waking up!”

 The two rushed down together, in time to see Virgil slowly sitting up. He looked around, blinking and confused, and seemed to curl into himself.

 “How’re you feeling, Kiddo?” Patton asked. Virgil blinked, seeming to be orientating himself.

 “Fine,” he muttered.

 “I’m sorry,” Roman blurted out. He knew this was his fault and knew he was in the wrong.

 “Oh, that’s rich,” Virgil snorted. “Princey apologising, what could possibly have happened to give me that honour?”  

 “Virgil, Kiddo – you okay?” Patton asked worriedly

 Alarm flashed across Virgil’s face, then was quickly covered by a guarded expression.

 “Who told you that name?” he demanded.

 “W – Virge, you did.”

 Virgil narrowed his eyes, glaring around at the other three.

 “I’m pretty sure I didn’t,” he said sharply. Patton opened his mouth, but Logan laid a hand on his arm, stopping him.

 “He appears to be under the effect of some kind of amnesia,” he said quietly. Roman blinked. The worm of guilt grew in his stomach – this was his fault.

 “H – he’s forgotten us?” Patton asked.

 “It appears so. Virgil has forgotten everything that’s happened in the past year - maybe more than that. And I don’t know if he’ll ever get his memories back.”


	10. Epilogue

**Two days ago.**

Logan bent over his desk, scowling slightly as he put together a program for the coming days. This task would be so much easier if Roman actually came up with some good ideas but he had been acting strange lately.

 He really needed to sit down and talk to Roman, but they hadn’t got a video out and Virgil’s constant nagging was getting to him. He needed some time to focus and calm down, but it didn’t seem to be working.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself away from the desk. Nothing would be achieved by working himself into the dust. It was illogical to keep pushing himself. He needed a break.

He made his way downstairs on a quest for coffee. As he prepared his drink, he heard a door close behind him. Turning, he saw Deceit, standing in the hall, a smug smile on his face.

 “What are you doing here?” he demanded. “We banished you.”

 “Did you really think I would stay gone forever? Come, Logan, you’re smarter than that,” Deceit said, smirking slightly.

 “What do you want?” Logan repeated.

 “Well, it seems my genius plan has hit a snag,” the dark side said, folding his hands together. “And I might need your help for plan B.”

 “And why would I help you?”

 “You don’t really have a choice. Look, we can do this the easy way, or-”

 “Or the hard way, yes, there is no need to be cliché. But before you initiate plan B, tell me, what is plan A?”  

 “You can’t figure it out?” Deceit asked, spreading his hands wide. Logan frowned, thinking.

 “Roman,” he said, things starting to click together. “You’ve been using him – that’s why he’s been acting strange lately, that’s why he’s been coming up with strange ideas.”   
  
 “He hasn’t even been here for the past few weeks,” Deceit said, smiling.

 “You’ve been impersonating him.” Logan scowled, gripping his mug tightly. He and Roman might be at odds a lot of the time, but Deceit impersonating and imprisoning him was going too far. He wasn’t about to stand for that. “I suggest you let him go before I do something I will regret.”

 “Calm down Logan. That plan is likely to fall through, anyway. Virgil’s found out, and I’m not sure if I can salvage my relationship with poor little Roman. So I turn to you.”

 “Why would I help you do anything?”

 “Oh, you will. You may not want to, but you will. I can make our lives better, if you would all just listen to me, but you won’t. So I have to find other ways of getting my ideas across.”

He moved forward, faster than Logan could react to, grabbing Logan’s arm and suddenly sinking out. In an instant, they were no longer standing in the commons, but a dim-lit bedroom, the curtains drawn and worn carpet covering the floor.

 “Where are we?” Logan asked, taking in the surroundings.

 “We are deep in my realm. Much deeper than the rundown shed I’ve been keeping Roman in. You have no power here, Logan. And the others will never find you.”

 “Why are you doing this?”

 “Because, if they won’t listen to me, then maybe,” He flickered, and suddenly Logan was staring at a copy of himself. “Maybe they will pay heed to the voice of logic.” He smiled, a sinister, unnerving smile, then vanished.

 Leaving Logan completely alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. What a ride it has been! Thank you to everyone who were here from the start, and thanks for those who discovered this later on! Keep an eye out for the sequel, it should be out at some point! Also, if you want to find me on tumblr, my Sanders Sides blog is Sanders-sides-shambles, and my main blog is Woogwoo-wren. (I have a couple of short stories there that I don't have here if you want to check them out.)
> 
> Thank you all again, and I hope to see you in the sequel!


	11. Faulty Logic

So umm, not really sure how notifications and stuff work on here, so I'm gonna post a new chapter on this and hopefully people will see it.

 

Guess what guys. I have the sequel out!!! It's called Faulty Logic, and is the next in this series. Go, read it, enjoy it, cry!! Thank you all for joining me on the journey that was A Crack in the Crown, and I hope to see you all again over there! :) 

Again, you can read both this story and Faulty Logic over on tumblr @Sanders-Sides-Shambles. 

~Wren. 


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